im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I should be sponsored by Trojan
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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