i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
