honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Randomize
