she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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