He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
