What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
