If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
