so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Randomize
