Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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