this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
