So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
