The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
