I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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