coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She bit a glass in half.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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