I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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