I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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