Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
