She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
