i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
