How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I want her autograph on my taint
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
