You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize