Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
try to milk me bitch
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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