We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
