You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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