so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
