shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
