i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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