Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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