Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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