I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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