The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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