Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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