Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
