what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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