sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
