Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
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