Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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