Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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