I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
