My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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