I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
