Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
