You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
