We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
