I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
