is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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