I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
