I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
