Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize