she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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