her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
