I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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