no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
