when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
