I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
This toilet bowl is my home.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
