i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
