stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
