dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
