Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
