Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
