gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
