i can't believe i had my finger in that
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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