True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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